lazlo and baby

I couldn't sleep last night. Do you ever get that thing when you're trying to go to sleep and the same word or song just keeps going through your head over and over again? Well, as I was trying to slip the bonds of consciousness my brain refused to stop doing to a line-by-line critique of the song "You're So Vain." Also, my brain thought it was a really good idea to blog this critique of the song.

So, without further delay:

You're So Vain
by Carly Simon

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht

Surely this line is intended to conjure up an image of a cocksure dandy exuding grace, with the yacht serving as a connection to the world of wealth and fame. However, as someone who has walked onto a yacht more than once, I can say that people usually look quite awkward when stepping onto a largeish boat. The waves and the boat's movement and all that means that you usually stand there timidly and lurch onto it, or brashly hop from the dock to deck. Not the image I think Carly intended.

Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte

Gavotte? What does that mean? I'm pretty sure it says "go by," but who am I to question carlysimon.com? My concern is this man's complete lack of concern for safety! Whether he's walking or dancing "a dance of French peasant origin marked by the raising rather than sliding of the feet" (according to m-w.com), his one unobscured eye is in the mirror, and not on his surroundings. That's more reckless than vain.

And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

Well, that might explain the "gavotte" line. I assumed the song meant sexual partner. Apparently I'm the big perv for thinking this song about a seafaring dandy's love for French peasant dances was actually about sex. But back to the hat; what's the strategy exactly? Was it once considered the height of attractiveness to hide one eye under your hat?

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

I remember hating this song when I was younger because I thought Carly was criticizing me personally, and quite wrongfully. Hey lady, I don't think this song is about me. But the part that made me hate the song was realizing that by thinking that, I did think the song was about me. I didn't really know what vain meant, so that part didn't bother me.

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me

Aside from the last line, he doesn't sound like such a bad guy. Is giving away things you love a sign of vanity too now, like thinking that songs are about you? I thought giving was a sign of selflessness (and thinking songs are about you is a sign of psychotic paranoia, but I digress). And what does "one of them was me" mean, anyway? Who or what did he give Carly to? The only ways I can think of a person "giving" another "away" would be: (1) at a wedding, when a father gives away his daughter, or (2) in the case of slavery. I don't think either applies here.

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

This is the phrase that kept echoing in my head last night. What does it mean? Clouds are sometimes a metaphor for a fleeting moment or feeling. I could see that. But in her coffee? That makes me think she's talking about milk, which is more difficult as a metaphor for a vanquished ambition. Is she saying that her dreams were stirred into the coffee and swallowed? By Carly Simon herself?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won

So he's lucky. Not much he can do about that.

Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun

And he likes nature, and is very wasteful. I suppose that's the first real sign of vanity in this song. Wikipedia has an intriguing note:

Two sun eclipses took place in Nova Scotia in the early 1970s. The first eclipse, in 1970 (March 7th), was visible in the USA, but the second one, in 1972 (July 10th), was not. The line "I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won," refers to the Saratoga Race Course meeting held in late July, August and early September in Saratoga Springs, New York.

So this event must have taken place on July 10th, 1972. (The song was recorded in September or October of that year.)

Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend

And then she married James Taylor on November 3, 1972. People who think this song is about James Taylor are stupid. How likely is it that she would write a song about what a vain, lucky, nature-loving, adulterous, peasant-dance-loving, eye-obsuring bastard James Taylor was a month before marrying him? (Also, would James Taylor ever have had enough money to own a Lear jet?)

Same goes for people who think it's about Mick Jagger. He sings with Carly on the song. I doubt that he didn't know what the rest of the words were. The line about Saratoga would be a big tipoff if it were about him.

In conclusion, you will see that "You're So Vain" is (a) more about a jerk than an egotist (b) a song with some poorly-conceived images and (c) largely misinterpreted.

Goodbye, and good luck.